Taking the first step

Welcome to Counseling! 

You may be asking yourself: how did I end up here? Do I seriously need help from someone else? How is this different from talking with my friend? Is this worth my money? 

This could just be the beginning of questions that you consider before you even reach out to a counselor, let alone before the first scheduled appointment. I know that it can be intimidating to start counseling, I’ve been there! Even as a trained professional who knows what to expect, the thought of a first session for myself makes me nervous. It can be uncomfortable to consider sharing some of the most intimate and vulnerable aspects of your life with a total stranger. 

I think it begins with the greeting and office space. A warm gesture and a safe space to begin feeling comfortable. For me, my office is a place where I can create a sense of home and belonging. I want my client’s to feel as if they have been here before and a place they look forward to coming back too. This can make a total difference, whereas walking into a bright, sterile, plain office can feel disruptive and cold. 

During a first session, you may begin with some paperwork and general background information as the counselor tries to gather a wide variety of information about you. As this concludes, they may begin with “What brought you in today?” Or “What changed now that you decided to come to counseling?” 

Uh-oh - here it is. The vulnerable aspect. The reason we came. I know myself, this is where I feel hesitant and resistant. I know I came to you, but no thanks. I ease myself in and share vague details and ideas about my life. Easing myself into the conversation. Depending on your counselor, hopefully at this point you are beginning to feel heard and warming up to them. I hope that by the end you feel that you can share some things here, even if it is small or not the depth of what you had intended on sharing. That is ok, that means there is more story to hear and more to dive into together. 

As you wrap up the session, you think “that wasn’t too bad after all” or “I think I did pretty well in here.” As you reflect on the session, I want you to think about how it felt in the room, how did the counselor respond to you, were you able to laugh and be comfortable, to slow down and share about something difficult for you? The goal of the first session is just to begin to feel comfortable, to feel open enough to another session. Progress is slow and that’s okay, we are in no rush. 

You are in this space because you need it, and that's perfectly okay. We all need a hand in life at one point or another. I am proud of you for seeking counseling, for putting your mental health above something else, and recognizing that you could use the space for something beneficial. A counselor is a trained mental-health professional that wants to assist you on your journey of healing and change. Sometimes we think that counselors will give us a quick fix and send us on our way, or give us great advice on what they think we should do. Thankfully, we don’t! It wouldn’t actually be as significant as you hoped it would be. Instead, there is a beautiful process built on connection and attunement that creates an emotional response and opens our minds and bodies to change. 

I think having friends that you can talk with is so important! They are necessary in life and having connection with others is really beautiful. But our friends are very biased, they know you and your responses, they know how you act and how you talk to others, the masks you put on for them, or the masks you take off for them. Friends are a little too close to us, to help us process what we need. Counselors are trained to help the healing process along and be an unbiased controlled environment that you can come to and depend on. They have a different kind of knowledge and resources that will help the process. They don’t see the rest of your life, they get the parts that you choose to bring into the room and explore together. It’s a space for you to bring things that may be difficult to talk to with people close to you. To just receive validation, and not the added guilt or commitment that a friend may tag on. It’s just different. I know that at times I want you to feel like we have been friends for ages, but I also want you to know that I am trained and prepared for you. 

Overall, beginning the counseling process is scary and uncomfortable. It’s ok to be nervous or anxious about it. It’s also okay to be ready to jump in. No matter where you land, I’m just proud that you are ready to consider taking the next step.